9/11

Hey Zach, I am sure this day has a meaning all its own to you as it does for most everyone in this country. For me it has a couple beyond the obvious tragedy that took place 13 years ago today. On this day in 2004 Jeff and I went on our first official date and have been together ever since which makes for ten wonderful years together. He has been there for me and often times for you and Cody throughout that time and I cannot imagine life without this amazing and compassionate man. 911 also means Urgency and for me that is a feeling I have quite often as it creeps up on me every time you enter my thoughts. That sense of urgency is the feeling of time slipping away that we will never get back, time with your brother Cody, with Nana and Granddad who grow older each year, time with your Uncle Gregg and Auntie Kim who are such an important part of my family and a staple in Cody's life, and time all together to revel in the wonderful family memories we could have been creating these past 7 years. Yes Zach, it's been over 7 years now. The last memory I have of you, you were still a child and now you are a young man going to college and making your way in the world. I am sick about every minute of these missed years as well as the ones that may still lie ahead. It's rememberence days like 9/11 that bring our situation into blinding focus. Knowing how many lives were lost that day without the opportunity to say the 'I love yous' or goodbyes, imagining the sorrow those that were left behind feel on this day each year and every other day in between. They had no choices in the outcome as that was brutally taken from them, but we do have a choice Zach, we CAN make a change and become a family again. Please think about what I have said before it's too late, before all we are left with is regret and a day of rememberence that brings sorrow and sadness. I love you sweetheart and will for ever and always. Never forget that.

Mom

XOX