For Zachary James Pratt

Dear Zach, it's Friday afternoon and I wonder what you have planned for the weekend. Allergy season is upon us and as usual I am dealing with it and wondering if you are down there in Los Angeles dealing with it as well. I remember your eyes and the back of your throat would itch so much and you would be so miserable. I hope you aren't suffering like that anymore. I have made the decision to sell the house on Pebble Glen Drive. I have mixed emotions about it because I raised you and Cody there for six years and then Cody for another six. Lots of good memories with friends and family there but a lot of sad ones as well. Jeff and I are looking to purchase a place in walnut creek somewhere close to town so we can do all our shopping on foot and limit the use of cars.  Cody is doing well and has a job prospect he is looking into. We are having lunch together tomorrow to catch up on everything.  He is so busy that he doesn't always have time for us to get together. I sup...

My constant state of mind: In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parents who lose a child. This feeling is  amplified infinitesimally if that child is alive but has chosen to exclude you from his life. This pain never lessens, there is no relief, no closure and no peace. It is the loss of love, not the loss of life that leaves the deepest wound.  I am acutely aware that others are extremely satisfied knowing I am in this pain and want nothing more than to foster continued hatred. They are not ignorant to the damage their actions and influence has caused, rather they celebrate it. There is something intrinsically evil about this path they have chosen and my spiritual beliefs tell me that one day they will be forced to answer to the heinous acts they have committed. Influence comes with a price and independence is freedom from that domination. I hope that one day Zach, your thoughts can come from your own heart and not from the malign...