Feelings and a quote

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My constant state of mind: In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parents who lose a child. This feeling is  amplified infinitesimally if that child is alive but has chosen to exclude you from his life. This pain never lessens, there is no relief, no closure and no peace. It is the loss of love, not the loss of life that leaves the deepest wound. 

I am acutely aware that others are extremely satisfied knowing I am in this pain and want nothing more than to foster continued hatred. They are not ignorant to the damage their actions and influence has caused, rather they celebrate it. There is something intrinsically evil about this path they have chosen and my spiritual beliefs tell me that one day they will be forced to answer to the heinous acts they have committed. Influence comes with a price and independence is freedom from that domination. I hope that one day Zach, your thoughts can come from your own heart and not from the malignant seeds planted there by others with their own perverted agenda.

"Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them" - Oscar Wilde

Maybe someday you can forgive me and others for all the things you believe we have done to you. Please try.


I Love you very much,
Mom
xox



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